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VI.  Showing and Saying  -- Pat & Donna Gallagher (WPatG@aol.com)
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(As means of introduction, Pat has sent us an essay which was
 originally published in Geppo Haiku Journal XVI:11, Sept/Oct 94,
 and which is reprinted here with the permission of the author)

Showing and Saying

It is a tenet of contemporary philosophy that some things cannot
be said, only shown.  Certainly a way to achieve the highest art
of haiku composition or appreciation cannot be put into words.
However, it likely that some useful things can be said that will
help poets who are working to improve their skills.  In regards
to learning haiku by studying examples, an excellent resource is
the new book edited by Robert Hass, The Essential Haiku: Versions
of Basho, Buson, and Issa, The Ecco Press, 1994.

A poem I like very much is from Margaret Chulas Grinding my ink:

                        floating in the sake
                        left for the beloved
                        a moth

Presented below are notes on what I can pick out that I like
about both what is presented in the poem and what it avoids
presenting.  The strengths described are characteristic of
Margaret's haiku and many of them are often presented as
requirements for excellence in haiku.

The poem references both the human world and the world of nature.
I have noticed poems that do this often have more impact on me
that poems that describe only scenes from nature without a human
element.

I find the poem to be completely intelligible; though we do not
leave sake for our dead loved ones we are familiar enough with
the general human practice to understand what is going on.

It seems to me that the order of the lines is right because it is
essential that the cup of sake and its setting are provided
before the moth.  If the moth were in the first line our
attention would be drawn to it to the extent that the other
elements would be somewhat transparent.

The setting of the poem is in an instant of observation.  Clearly
the cup of sake and the moth have been there for some time and
will persist, but we see it now!

The scene described is an ordinary one, not an unusual or
singular occasion.

The poem presents no statement of a moral lesson, no personal
reaction or reflection; as readers we have been trusted to
understand why the poet has chosen to bring the scene to our
attention.  We have been so well guided by the poet that we do
not have to worry that our understanding may be incorrect.

The syllable count of the lines is 5, 6, 2, presenting enough of
an armature to carry the weight of the poem.  The poem is not
telegraphic.

The poem leads me to think about the rituals of remberance, and
how such rememberances and their traces in the world must pass
away.

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