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VII. The Game of Maekuzuke--Andreas Schoter (asch@cogsci.ed.ac.uk)
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Back in Issue 5 (November 1993) I proposed a game of maekuzuke to
Dogwood Blossom subscribers. The term `maekuzuke' means,
literally, "joining to a previous verse" - the maeku, "previous
verses", are thrown to winds, displayed in some public space, and
individuals come along and add their own tsukeku, a "joined
verse". The idea is that the joined verse should depend on the
seed for its full sense: it is incomplete or lacks full impact
without it.
There are a number of things that seem relevant to me about this
form. Firstly, often my own haiku arise as a form of maeku game
with myself. An initial experience will trigger some words -
rarely a complete haiku, often only a couple of lines - and these
stay with me, sometimes for a long time before they form into
something that feels more complete. If, in fact, they ever do.
So, considering how my own compositions emerge, it's interesting
to see what happens when the initial seed of words comes from a
someone else. Here there's no experience triggering the poem,
instead we have a level of indirectness, a response to a
response.
I said in issue 5 that what I'd be looking for is a poem that
expresses a moment or feeling that in some way complements or
contrasts with the original moment that generated the maeku. The
variety of response has certainly lived up to that! Sometimes I
can see an immediate connection: the poet is bouncing some of the
original experience back at me; sometimes, although the tsukeku
reflects a very different experience from that which triggered
the maeku, I can see how the poet arrived there; and
occasionally, to my delight, I'm at a loss to see any connection.
Such is the rich variety of individual response!
I originally put forward four maeku (A-D) for folk to respond to.
I've grouped the tsukeku under the maeku to which they respond.
I've not included authors' names with each poem, but instead I've
given each poet a number, listed in a key at the end of the
article, and numbered each poem accordingly. Before each group
of tsukeku I say a few words about the original experience that
prompted the maeku to give some idea of how interpretations
correspond/differ. This may also give you some idea of how
appropriate (or not) the maeku itself is. I wish to stress that
I've exercises no editorial control here - everyone who submitted
a haiku has been included. To my mind some of these poems are
not completely successful: compare and contrast. In addition
I've taken the liberty of including my own tsukeku.
Here, then, is the fruit of the request.
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(A) Territorial wailing
shatters the afternoon peace.
(3) on the ancient wall
a bird rests momentarily
above the faithful
(2) With a heavy sigh
tired mother separates
her toddlers once more
(5) thunder crashes once
rams recover quietly
mountain peaks echo
(1) To each worker comes
A new boss and a new job.
Another reorg!
(6) Clicking of Switchblades
Angry Voices cry out
blood silently flows
(4) hum of buzzsaw
lonely dog
whines
(7) fire alarm
pushing people out down-
burning building
ashes cover the oak tree
nearby searing its branches
(9) On the shed roof:
A cat watches a cat watching
In the long grass.
Notes on Maeku "A":
This first maeku came one afternoon whilst I was at home
practicing Tai Chi. We live in a third floor flat (that's
actually the top floor) and, being at the back of the block, we
look out onto a communal area, quite wild and overgrown, enclosed
on all four sides by buildings. This space is a haven for the
local cats and attracts, in addition, a wide variety of bird
life. I probably waste far too much time watching its wild
society! My own tsukeku to this comes some time later, but from
the same arena.
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(B) A twist in the path reveals
the clarity of far hills.
(2) After many hours
The point to which we journey
has grown no closer
(8) Snow covered on a far hill
Ghostlike
the abandoned farmhouse waits
(3) nearby, the fall roars
a gentle white windborn spray
so cool on my face
(6) Looking upon it
I finally realize
what Majestic means
(1) But glass and concrete
frames them. The pain and the curse:
To see, but not touch.
(9) My stride briefly stilled
On the rushed city pavement -
My mind's eye is there!
Notes on Maeku "B":
Like most folk now, I live in a city. But here in Edinburgh I'm
lucky: it's possible to be constantly surprised by the vistas
that open up as you walk around the town centre - almost always
there are lines of sight that take you away from the streets. In
the case of this maeku, out over the Firth of Forth (an estuary)
and away to the Cullaloe Hills. My tsukeku here came almost
immediately (with some `in head' editing prior to writing it down
:-).
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(C) Rivulets of shadow
snake up the sunlit hill.
(1) How swiftly shadows
climb, while I am earthbound by
Walking stick and shoes.
(2) scent of burning leaves
mixes with someone's supper
hoping it is mine
(3) soon, cold ocean air
will bring its misty blanket
time to feed the cat
(6) precious afternoon
lovers cling to each other
the sun sets too fast
(9) Yin and yang mix
in the morning sunlight
on Arthur's Seat.
Notes on Maeku "C":
Again, Edinburgh is the source of this maeku. In the centre of
the city is a place called Holyrood Park, if you can find a map
of the city take a look at it. Essentially, this is a chunk of
wilderness that has remained undeveloped in the middle of
cosmopolitan sprawl. The beauty of it is that even if someone
wanted to build on it it would be virtually impossible! Arthur's
Seat and Salisbury Crags are primordial rock intruding into the
modern. They dominate my morning walk into the department.
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(D) Earth roots the great trees' fingers
gently stroking the breeze.
(3) summer's winding road
redwoods and rocky beaches
distance grows with time
(1) Blinded by money
Full of sight, but no vision:
"Seen one, seen 'em all."
(2) closed book on my chest
Vivaldi on my headphones
tree fingers on my mind
(6) beautiful great tree
peacefully giving comfort
loving gift from God
(9) Heed the trees:
Each year unfolds another
Burst of buds.
Notes on Maeku "D":
A Note from the author of (D1): the last line is a Ronald Reagan
quote regarding protection of redwoods from logging. The Royal
Botanic Garden in Edinburgh has a stand of redwoods, a great deal
smaller than in their native habitat, the climate here not being
ideal for them. But that Garden is a constant source of
quietude, as diverse a collection of plant life as one could wish
for. This tsukeku is, perhaps, not directly triggered by the
maeku, but again it comes from the same source.
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The Authors (arranged here in order of receipt):
(1) "Name withheld by request"
(2) Gary Warner (GLWARNER@SAMFORD.BITNET)
(3) Mike Rilee (rilee@lps.cornell.edu)
(4) Chuck Easter (salparadis@aol.com)
(5) Bill Blohm (bblohm@hpbs1686.boi.hp.com)
(6) Debbie Blohm (bblohm@hpbs1686.boi.hp.com)
(7) John Saylor (jsaylor@MIT.EDU)
(8) Cher A. Holt-Fortin (engcah@GSUSGI2.GSU.EDU)
(9) Andreas Schoter (asch@cogsci.ed.ac.uk)
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